Kids

How do you decide if you want more or not? When Josh and I got married, I still wasn't sure if I wanted any... but, we didn't do anything to keep from having any either. Now, I'm not sure if I want anymore at all. Part of it is the money situation right now. It's hard enough just being us 3 and Josh is the only one bringing in any money. In Jan I'll be starting school so I don't want to interrupt that again. I don't know how to describe how I feel about it though. Part of me says I don't want any more period, then part of me says I'll have another one later on when Josh decides to grow up. I feel like he's my 2nd child. He goes to work, comes home and just watches tv, or he's on the phone for hours. So I end up doing everything. Well, mostly everything. I do enough to keep the house looking decent, I guess. I'm tired of trying to keep it spotless when he doesn't help out at all. Tonight, I've been on and off the computer and he's been sitting in there chair watching tv (so he says to me "it's your turn to deal with you, you haven't done anything with her all night") Makes me feel like I'm the bad parent. But every time Fallyn tries to get up in his lap he'll let her up but she's not even there a full minute before he's putting her back on the floor because she won't sit still or for whatever reason. It's really annoying and it really upsets me. She's such a daddy's girl and wants to be in his lap, yet, she can't sit still.... but he won't try to make her sit still either. He just gets fed up and puts her back on the floor. Then she gets mad, then he gets mad cuz she's mad. UGH!!! I just don't know what to do. I mean I'm not planning on having another one anytime soon but I don't want them too far apart either. I actually was hoping to have another one after Fallyn turns 3. So that would mean getting pregnant sometime after June 2010. I'm really not sure I want to do that now though. I keep telling him that I don't want to have anymore and he says "well, you can't have just 1"... um, yes I can have just 1 lol. and if it comes down to it, I will only have just 1!